Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
