in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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