im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
