2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
