haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
