My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
