When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
