So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
