He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
