hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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