Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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