You surviving the open bar?
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So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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