I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
