Apparently you make a good broom.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
