Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
