How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
