I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
