you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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