So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
