I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
