i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
