Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
