If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
