So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
