I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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