Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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