I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
