guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Maybe he injected his testicle?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
