I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
