I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
