You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
