we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
