beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I forget how to act sober
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
