Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
