Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
