Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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