I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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