I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
