After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Another day, another engagement, another cat
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
