I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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