Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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