Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
