YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
