Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
