I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
