Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
