Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize