Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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