Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
