I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
